The choices we make....

This week maybe I (or more appropriately my friends) have got to that ‘certain age’.

Two of my close friends have just decided to pack in their very highly skilled, senior professional jobs; one to go travelling, the other to do something different, not knowing what that is quite yet! One was a Partner in a law firm, the other on the Board of an international pharmaceutical company. Both of them had been very focused about climbing the corporate ladder and had achieved much during their 15 or so years at work. However, they both said independently, that the decision to pack it all in without knowing where they would go next was amazingly easy. Considering both the individuals had always taken any decisions to date very seriously and analytically, I was amazed that they both were comfortable to ‘abandon ship’ and just see what happens.

To dramatically change their life and lifestyle at this stage takes considerable courage, and some of you may say that they are bonkers in doing so. Maybe so in some eyes! However, it does highlight that however important you may be in business, however deep your responsibilities are (which are likely to be considerable as a Leader), you DO have a choice in terms of your life. Yes – you really do, as these two have shown me at least!

Now, I am not encouraging all of you out there to abandon your careers, companies and even families just for the hell of it! However, there are some interesting things that are worth considering, as a result of their decisions.

What assumptions are you making?
Both friends said that they never really gave themselves the chance to stop and think about what they really wanted when caught up in corporate life. What was interesting was that they often thought that they did – when on holiday, or talking to their Coach or family. But in reality, this was always within the confines of certain given parameters; incidentally parameters that they had given themselves, sometimes unconsciously. Things like mortgage, children’s education, business dependency are the obvious ones that burst forth initially. Can you think what assumptions, or parameters that you have set yourself in business and at home? Are they real, relevant, or are they just there from habit? For example, Nick (one of the friends) always assumed that he ‘had’ to work to pay for his life, house, family etc. An obvious one I know! However, when he did sit down with pen, paper and a smart Accountant, he realised that he could manage a year of considerably smaller income without doing real damage to his pension, or lifestyle. The same goes for business – are there some assumptions that you are making about your competition, your costs, your revenues that actually could be challenged, without being detrimental to the business? Try to list all those assumptions you are making – you may be surprised at how extensive the list is, when you dig beyond the obvious ones.
Take Courage
The amazing Karren Brady says in her book ‘Playing to win’ that “Courage stems from confidence but stands alone as a tremendous asset”. She is so right. Courage is so often driven by a very strong goal or ambition, and easily taken away from us by our very own actions. Sometimes, it seems easier to hide behind some self-authored parameters that encourage us to say ‘Well I would love to do that, but I just can’t’. There is no such thing as ‘can’t’ when driven by your desire to do something – so look for that ambition that you really, really want. What is getting in the way? Is that your choice – really?
Look into the Future
When you are 80 and sitting in your chair, looking back over your life to date – what will you like to have said that you have achieved? Is it too late now to change your life to do it? Probably not! Every week, we all read amazing stories of octogenarians running Marathons, Pensioners setting up Charities in India, retired folk returning to business to set up a multi million pound Vodka business – so never think it is too late if you have the desire! So as not to be ‘age-ist’, you may think you are too young in some areas, but then consider the 18 year old American Girl who has just completed her final ascent up Everest, and is now the Youngest Human to have completed the Seven Summits – what next!
Do it for the right reasons
A word of caution. Being stuck on the M25 on a rainy, dark Friday night is probably not the most sensible time to consider changing your life! Going back to my two friends, they had both made the decision to change when things were going WELL for them. Doing so enables you to think through various options in a much more objective frame of mind. Again, from a business perspective, when you lose out to a competitor, it is probably not sensible to completely throw out your product or service that night, or sack the team for that matter. Look for when times are good to review where you are.

Lastly – if you are happy doing what you are doing – that is GREAT! Every now and then, it is worth giving yourself time to reflect on your choices in how you live life and do business. It may just help you realise how lucky you are – or is it luck, given the choices that you have made?!

Until next week…
Kate Tojeiro is an Executive Performance Coach at www.the-x-fusion.co.uk