Flat over brow

Last week I was most fortunate to meet many extraordinary people and a few of the conversations stood out:

Speaking with legendary racing driver Barrie “Whizzo” Williams who rallied at the highest level in the 60s and is now known for his expertise at the wheel of historic and classic racing cars.

Discussing Cyber Security Challenge UK with Lieutenant Colonel Nigel Harrison, MBE, decorated for his part in the liberation of Kuwait during the first Gulf War. 

Also a lively discussion with Tanya Rennick, the energetic force behind The Oyster Club, London’s Premier Networking Club.  

Watch this space….

So, flat over brow, not a term I was familiar with.  Those of you who know a little (or a lot) about rallying will be aware that it means flat out, over the blind brow of a hill, requiring complete trust in your navigator or co-driver.  What transpired in discussion with Whizzo was not so much the "flat over brow" but the "right hand turn 50ft" immediately afterwards, in thick fog!  

"Flat over brow" seems to me to epitomize trust, that well-worn word that is talked about such a lot, but maybe not as truly practiced as it might be.  Not so in my discussions above, these truly inspiring individuals expressed candidly that if it hadn’t been for the trust in team or indeed trust in self, they wouldn’t be where they are today. 

As Ernest Hemingway eruditely put it "the best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them”. 

Will you? 

'Caught or Taught'

Caught or taught?

I was at my daughter’s school this week for parents’ evening and one of her teacher’s stands out as being exceptionally good at what he does. Undoubtedly a very good teacher i.e. the ‘taught’ bit however it also occurred to me that the way he speaks and behaves is ‘caught’ perhaps by the kids too.

He has a certain way about him when the children are getting a bit wayward shall we say (some might say challenging) however I don’t think I have once heard him raise his voice or shout at the children. This hasn’t been reported back either and it often does – stories about the ‘shouty’ teachers as they’re affectionately dubbed! There is certainly a sort of ‘inspiring mood’ in the room when he is teaching.

It got me thinking about a group I worked with last year who have a rather challenging boss, abrasive, somewhat insensitive and inconsistent to boot. Whilst this boss is remote, it occurred to me that some of these behaviours were being ‘caught’ even though the team in question, were focusing on ‘upping their game’ and behaving much more effectively as a team. Some of the behaviours we came across were around territories, responsibility and accountability, blame games – a number of which I believe were being ‘caught’ from on high.

Their development as a team and as individuals came from unpicking some of these less successful behaviours and finding a mechanism both as a group and as individuals that would help them stay true to their purpose. They have also identified the ‘taught’ and the ‘caught’ - not that we identified it as such at the time.

As a leader what are you teaching and what are people catching from you? It will be your brilliance as well as those little behaviours or habits that don’t serve us so well?

Question:-

As a leader what did you teach someone today?

As a leader what did your people ‘catch’ from you? Inspiration, eloquence, calm under pressure or something altogether different?

Your game, your turf, your rules.....

A few clients have been talking about public speaking over the last couple of days. The BAFTA’s and the fabulous awards and celebrations of the King’s Speech got me thinking……

There is a line in the movie, “my game, my turf, my rules” where Lionel, the speech therapist, is gently pushing at the boundaries of protocol when Albert comes to him for assistance with a speech impediment that has blighted him since childhood or perhaps because of his childhood.

An observation, as an executive coach, is that when we speak from the heart, our words, opinions and ideas are very often not only heard but also understood. When we say what we think we ought to say or should say, the sincerity and passion is somewhat diminished and therefore we may invariably give a mixed message or indeed the message won’t be heard at all. Why - when we speak from the heart about things we believe in – it may be the annual strategic plan or succession planning and growing talent - people will hear our voice because there will a real connection with the audience - be it 2 or 200 people. Speaking with ‘your game, your turf and your rules’ in mind will lead to that all important authenticity.

Tips:-

- Use your words, if you have a speech-writer - make sure you attune it to your language - the words that ‘you’ would use

- Boost your confidence a few moments prior to speaking by thinking about a time when you were at your most confident

- -Practice – if you don’t have a willing listener, practicing and going through it in your head is just as useful

- Be succinct - know your main points to address – the forthcoming nominated potential Oscar winners have been told that if they win - they have 45 seconds speech time!

- Answer questions directly, know your elevator pitch or company message or values that you can reinforce if need be

- Remember ‘your game, your turf, your rules’ and if need be King Albert if that will help!

New Year - what does 2008 hold for you?

Making the right choices;

A few little words stood out last week, ‘being constantly concerned about other people’s perception of you will never make you happy’! That was the sentiment anyway - I was reading Russell Brand’s autobiography, half-way up a hill in Tuscany – so that may not be word-perfect!

At this time of year, a time for reflection, review and looking to and planning for the year ahead - as individuals, managers, chief executives - it is sometimes easy to be swayed by others views and doing the same thing. Not rocking the proverbial boat! I work with many clients to make choices that are for them, truly for them and not what they believe others desire from them. How they should behave, what they should drive, how they should live etc……. be true to you and the rest will follow.

I was party to a conversation just before Christmas about ‘choices’. One individual in the debate was of the belief that some things we just ‘have’ to do, and he believed that there was no choice in certain situations; his example was the following; a friend supporting a large family and large house with correspondingly large mortgage, and commuting to London from the home counties, and working for a boss that he dislikes….. One of my colleagues rather artfully assisted him in changing his thinking… having a large family – a choice, a large house with a large mortgage – a choice, commuting to London - a choice, working for a boss you dislike – a choice……all of the above can be changed if you truly want to.

Of course these are all choices, each and every one and whatever it is that we are doing in life, there is always a choice…

• People will always give you differing opinions on which choice you should make.
• You will never know if you made the right choice.
• Someone will always feel you made the wrong choice.
• Not all choices have a “right” or “wrong” answer.
• Any choice can be “right” or “wrong” depending how you treat them.
• What you choose is not as important as how you choose and what you do with your choice.
• You can live with any choice you make.
• You can take responsibility for any choice you make.
• Only you can make your choices.
• Making a choice is an act of will that shapes your life to your dimensions.
• Everyone inevitably makes “wrong” choices sometimes but that’s okay.
• You are the choices you make in life and your future will be determined by them.

So, because you know what happens if you put off thinking about the important stuff i.e. you then put off making things happen.

A few thoughts to help you on your way;

How do you decide what you really want? Try considering your options at each of the five stages that go into every decision.

Usually, we choose so fast that we don't realize just how detailed the process is. But when you think about it, there really are five parts to every decision:

• Identify the issue
• Think through possible solutions or alternatives
• Evaluate the ideas
• Take Action act out the plan
• Learn for the future

For example, during a rather smart meal at Christmas I was confronted with some oysters – which I really don’t like.

Identify the issue (how to not eat the oysters and not offend the host), Think through (feed to the dog, slip into handbag, give to some-one else, be honest), Evaluate the ideas (dogs outside! don’t want oysters in new handbag, paper napkin!), Take Action (honesty won - apologized elegantly – then gave to nephew!), Learn (find out before hand what’s for dinner to take pre-emptive action or carefully position dogs).

So, have a wonderful New Year – filled with all the success, prosperity and excitement that you deserve. For an executive coach to assist you along the path and avoid whatever your own ‘oysters’ maybe, call or email me and I’d be delighted to speak with you. http://www.the-x-fusion.co.uk/, or 01763 853 924.

Do you boost your team into the New Year with renewed vigour!

Will you really celebrate the end of the year with your team to propel them ahead into 2008? And will it truly reflect your values?


During the festive season, even if you don’t have a specific religion, ‘’goodwill towards man’’ is, I think, a fine sentiment in its own right. And after all it is the end of the year, the calendar one at any rate. Therefore if that gives us an opportunity for a little review – what did you do well, what did your team do well, what did you do in spite of the odds rather than because of them– then let’s use it! Let’s spread a little goodwill - there’s a new year ahead!

In your business, is the festive season a time for celebration - the successes of the year, the highlights, the lowlights ………. or just an excuse for a good knees up and a drink or six and the potential opportunity to give some-one a quick peck on the cheek that you couldn’t possibly do at any other time of the year!! Whatever it is, it could be that if you apply a little thought and application – you may get as much as you give.

Last week, I worked with a fabulous team and in the afternoon of day one of the workshop - we did an exercise on alignment. What I mean by that is that we worked out how well the team was on plan, on target and more importantly, as a group were their beliefs, values and vision in sync. Despite all of us having got up very early and been rowing (great team-building exercise!) in temperatures of c4degrees – the exercise revealed some business actions that needed to be acted upon immediately and more importantly issues that could make a difference to the bottom line PDQ! This was a high performing team performing well and for them we discovered how they can be even better. For teams that are less cohesive the results of this sort of intervention can be revolutionary - galvanising them into much, much greater achievements or changes that make the difference! One of the most common reasons for difficulty in organisations and within teams is that values and beliefs are different and therefore having and sharing a vision or mission becomes almost impossible.

At this time of year, for whatever reason, there is a nice warmth and positivity hanging about the place and therefore why not use this perfect opportunity to not only thank your teams and employees for this year’s efforts but more importantly get a little clarity to get them focused on the right things for next year – which reflect your values - as leader, manager or CEO.

Despite the financial wobbles that are occurring on the other side of the pond and despite the continued - how to put? - incidents that our new government seem hell bent on producing each and every week - keeping your team and company focused and not put off by economic fluctuations, competition, or anything else that may distract them...... would very possibly be a great thing to do this side of 2008.

So,

When did you last thank your team - and specific individuals within it - not just a wee comment by the water-cooler or an after presentation comment, a short note of thanks in a card or email if you really must. It goes an awful long way to motivating people and is free to boot ( apart from a little of your time perhaps)!

When did you last gather as a team, group or company to discuss your company vision, your values & beliefs - what is it that makes you tick as a team, as a company - what do you collectively believe in and therefore what do you need to achieve it (I hear echoes of ‘what is she talking about’ – this sort of discussion - even for the most cynical of you out there - could make the difference to you hitting target or not!).

When will you sit down with your team to discuss the learning and outcomes of 2007 and what that means for 2008?

What went less well and have you learned not to do it again?

What went well and how can you repeat that performance?

What should you start doing?

And finally, those same questions for you, the leader, what are your values, what did you do well, what did you do less well and what shall you not do again, continue to do and start doing?

Tis the season to be jolly and as I sit here at my desk, there seems to be more than the odd bit of festive clutter gathering. Christmas is but a pantomime and an organic turkey away, so with all that flurry of anticipation – thank your teams, establish what your values really are - ensure that everyone is in alignment and start the New Year with a flourish!

Goodwill towards all men and have a highly successful 2008!

Kate Tojeiro is an Executive Performance Coach & MD of X fusion; www.the-x-fusion.co.uk

'And the difference is ? '

A lawyer friend of mine was invited on a ‘jolly’ as he described it, in Cambridge, a marquee on the riverbank, champagne on tap, canapés, strawberries and cream on a balmy afternoon. That was the perception or expectation in my friend’s head at any rate!

It transpired to be a few people crammed onto a punt - no champagne – a few beers and several punnets of warm strawberries which my rather dapper, affable friend was left holding, squeezed in between two giggly young girls. Nothing against the giggly young girls - just not perhaps the Henley-esque experience that he was expecting or maybe hoping for!

Perception, misperception is a common occurrence and where coaching is concerned it happens often. So, may I offer you some clarification?

I reflect on three meetings;

The first was a client, a very capable CEO. He joined the organisation less than 18 months ago and it was significantly loss making, he took this ailing company to becoming very saleable organisation and a deal concluded early this week (a multi-million pound deal, I will add). Did I see a confident, ballsy, excited individual, proud of his recent achievement? I did not! Admittedly, as many of you will testify taking a company through an exit is no mean feat - exhausting, exhilarating, frustrating, exciting, tedious and any other descriptive you care to mention (some of which are best left unwritten!) however the exit and perhaps the anticlimax hailed the start of a new era.

Do you ever have that feeling when you have heaps to do or even one specific thing to do and hard as you try you can’t seem to make the first step to tackling it, head-on or even from the sidelines in stealth mode? This is where we started.

The session enabled the client to articulate the real issues that were going on and therefore reveal the path ahead. Some-one else really probing, asking challenging questions and making one accountable for ones actions - that makes a huge difference to how one moves ahead and progresses. More importantly having an impartial and unbiased supporter that will be metaphorically speaking ‘on your side’ through the ups and downs, and also providing a softer cushion of support when it’s required.

An email later arrived from the client saying ’I've come back determined, energized and focused on my great achievement and on the positives, and to milk both for all they are worth!‘

That was coaching. My client shall remain nameless and I was the coach.

Meeting number two, is with a highly regarded entrepreneur, hugely successful businessman, published author, public speaker and generally great bloke.

The two meet at a disceet location in London, they discuss business, aspirations future strategy, global poverty…..

This man is charismatic, steely sharp and incredibly generous with his time and advice. He asks the most incisive of questions and really gets to the heart of an issue – evoking one to really explore all avenues and most importantly really hone in and focus on where one is headed.

From a position of great experience and knowledge, the entrepreneur imparts advice, encouragement and methodologies as to how the other might significantly grow their business in a supportive yet challenging way.

Specific, measurable suggestions that not only enable but also inspire! Topics covered are wide and varied; people, motivation, target market, USPs, finance, legal, marketing and the myriad of other issues facing companies and executives today.

I walked out onto the Strand positively bouncing with excitement and renewed vigour and drive (I still am in fact!).

That was mentoring and I was the privileged mentee and it was a gift.

Meeting number three;

An individual that I know well has been hugely successful in business (and continues to be) and has great friends and family.

Some 20 years ago, my friend grew up with alcoholic parents and lost his mother when he was eighteen in a tragic accident (doubtless caused by the alcohol abuse). At certain times in life this causes him to not only find a given situation very challenging but also he finds it extremely difficult in knowing how to handle it.

He sees a psychotherapist regularly and is slowly overcoming and being able put aside some of the pain.

This is counselling (or therapy), the friend shall remain nameless and the psychotherapist is a member of the British Association of Psychotherapists. Occasionally coaching will stray into areas of our psyche that require the services of a specialist counsellor or therapist – a good coach would always point out that they were not best placed to assist and refer on in such situations.

There is often some confusion defining coaching, mentoring and counselling. There is a time and place for each and the results and outcomes from each intervention can be extraordinary and potentially life-changing. However, they are each very different and it is essential that the boundaries of each aren’t blurred as this is when the wrong intervention can cause entirely the wrong outcome!

My lawyer friend was subsequently invited to the British Grand Prix by a generous corporate organisation; this reality super-ceded his expectation! Use coaching, mentoring or counselling at the right time in the right place and you will find that your expectations are more than likely surpassed too.

Kate Tojeiro is an Executive Performance Coach. Contact her at www.the-x-fusion.co.uk

'Do you have a conflict management strategy? '

Conflict sadly seems to be around us most of the time in the world at large and in our day to day business.

The most successful teams and companies have spontaneous and varied outlets for new ideas, innovations and approaches, however, it is also however these creative ideas, innovations and approaches that can be the very ingredients to conflict!

Therefore it is probable that the two greatest skillsets that will directly affect the success and longevity of your business are not only strategic planning but also conflict management! Having been inadvertently on the sidelines of a major conflict between two parties at the week-end and in my work as an Executive Performance Coach – seeing the stress and behavioural barriers to success that ensue, I know this to be true.

You´ve probably heard the saying "the bone is strongest where the break heals" (that is actually medically true!), the same applies to relationships (business or otherwise!), and this may, actually, give organizations a competitive edge. Unresolved conflicts are harmful and put a business at risk. Companies are often comprised of emotional hot houses and systems that are likely to have conflicts at some point or another. Several studies on M&A deals suggest that the largest number fail because of lack of conflict regulation processes. I have observed that those who do well are those who have found ways to regulate and appreciate differences of opinion even and especially if they are potentially explosive. These companies enjoy a competitive advantage, as they are better able to work together, trust each other, and react faster to the changing economic environment. The resulting outcome also leads to better, wiser decisions.

So if you have a conflict management process, fabulous! If not a few pointers which may assist;

• Conflict is normal; differences of opinion are healthy
• Managed conflicts are beneficial
• Build self confidence in emerging leaders
• Strengthen bonds
• Create rich diversity, more options
• Must be dealt with quickly and fairly
• Process is as important as outcome
• Hard bargaining is a poor second to interest based negotiations

Best practices to prevent conflicts:

• Clear strong leadership that is meritocracy based.
• Good employment policies: compensation, employment, exit and entry, reviews.
• Formalized meetings.
• Strong, effective governance with a truly independent board.
• Formalized meetings for sharing and understanding the collective and individual beliefs and values.
• Open and direct communication.
• Dealing with issues and conflicts as they arise in a direct, timely and open-minded way.

When conflict arises;

Remember any human system is also an emotional system with a long, complicated history, working in real-time. In any emotional system that is subject to many and varied opinions and views, a fair and timely process will offer safety and predictability and more importantly a swift solution.
• Establish a fair process
• Build in safety and predictability so individuals will know what to expect
• Get buy-in from parties
• Use it!

Notes on a good, fair process;

Here are steps to follow in managing any conflict:
Ground rules
• Who are the critical decision makers?
• How will we make this decision?
• How long will we give to this?
• What are the rules of engagement?
Initial Positions
• Statement of problem
• Statement of each parties position
Interests
• What does each party really care about?
• What is their motivation?
• This answers the question ´why´?
Create solutions
• "Out of the box" thinking
• Invent options
• Brainstorm
Get objective criteria for each option
• Reality check
• What is the industry standard?
• What are the requirements for that position?
• How do we review that strategy?
Reaching an agreement
• Open discussion of the choices
• Weigh the options
• Make the decision.

My basic premise is that to counter conflict, you need a rational approach of patience & calm. You have to work out what is happening that is contributing to the problem and change it. Easier said than done, maybe! However, by getting to the root causes of the conflict, you not only relieve current conflicts but you are also more likely to prevent recurrences. For example, if you keep having conflict in your management team, it is possible that you might discover that the cause of your upset is not their behavior but your unrealistic expectations. By modifying your standards, you might find that the conflict in the team no longer bothers you or even better, those conflicts result in the more successful outcomes that you could ever have imagined. .

Until next week…

Kate Tojeiro is an Executive Performance Coach at www.the-x-fusion.co.uk

‘CEO with multiple personalities – please apply’

“I have a dream….” Heard that before? The most quoted speeches about leadership around the globe are those that have provided inspiration and significant change– inspiring groups of people, workers even nations in some cases. Whether it be Martin Luther King, Churchill, or Mandela, they are all recognised for outstanding leadership. Many of us aspire to being half as talented at articulating, mesmerising and leading I am sure! However, for you CEOs and equivalents out there, you realise being a leader is not just about make fantastic speeches, in fact a significant part of your role and day requires a completely different form of leadership.

Myles Downey, a coaching guru of our time, neatly articulates that in order to be a successful CEO, you need to be a leader, a manager AND a coach, regardless of your business being 2 or 2000 employees.

Stop for a moment and cast your mind across your diary. Think through your day and the different, varied facets of your role. Typically it may include speaking at a conference or team event (Leader), a one-to-one with your Marketing Director (Coach) and then checking on progress of your latest product (Manager). Are you beginning to recognise the need for the split personality now?! I am not encouraging you all to be schizophrenic, but I do want you to recognise that it does not take just one type of behaviour to succeed at the top. This is what we have to work on (unless you are naturally schizophrenic that is). In my experience working with CEOs, you will naturally have one of the three personalities as a natural strength. The knack is being aware of the need for the other two when certain situations occur. Do not expect to shine in all three, but ensure that you do have the skills to vary your style to create the best outcome for all events.

Those most successful in the role of CEOs tend to be those that are sensitive to recognising the different roles needed at different times in the organisation.

Let us look at the three styles required:
Leader – This is the person that inspires the team, the troops, by articulating a clear message for everyone to get behind. They will be continuously and tirelessly talking about their vision, how to get to success and driving people to do so. Behaviours will include clarity of thought and communication, together with ability to make tough decisions.

Manager – Here is the person that makes things happen. They ensure that the vision becomes reality through getting teams set up and working with them to continually progress. They will be creative in getting people to move from ‘what’ to ‘how’, in making dreams reality They will be able to prioritise and keeping the momentum going, removing obstacles as they go. They will also be a good team player.

Coach – Here is the person that listens and creates a culture where everyone takes responsibility for the success and progress of the organisation. They will continually create situations for people to express their thoughts, enthusiasms and even worries in order to get responsibility spread throughout the organisation. They will listen and watch and encourage others to move forward and will be continually positive in outlook, having put status to one side.

So – firstly, identify which is your forte? Which of the three do you instantly recognise is your natural behaviour? Incidentally, many of you may instantly think it is Leader, although this is often not the case. You may HAVE to frequently take on this role based on your responsibilities, but that does not mean you are not a natural coach underneath that.

Secondly – recognise when the other two personalities would be better at different events, such as a one-to-one, or a review meeting. What is important to identify what different behaviours are best at these events in order to get the greatest outcome.

Thirdly – practise all three in order for you to seamlessly move from one to another as the need arises. A suggestion for you - Write down two or three words that clarify for you what Leader, Manager and Coach is. For example
Leader – inspiring, consistent, tough
Manager – team player, obstacle remover
Coach – even playing field, listener
And carry this with you in your diary/PDA.

Before you go to an event, pick which ever of the styles you see as appropriate and consciously try to take on that persona – give yourself feedback after the event, so that you continually improve as you go. The greater diversity you have as a CEO, you create greater opportunity for success.

I would like to leave you with a quote that may inspire you to try these techniques out, from one of the great leaders of our time:

“Personally, I’m always ready to learn, though I do not always like being taught.” - Winston Churchill


Until next week,



Kate Tojeiro is an Executive Performance Coach at www.the-x-fusion.co.uk

The choices we make....

This week maybe I (or more appropriately my friends) have got to that ‘certain age’.

Two of my close friends have just decided to pack in their very highly skilled, senior professional jobs; one to go travelling, the other to do something different, not knowing what that is quite yet! One was a Partner in a law firm, the other on the Board of an international pharmaceutical company. Both of them had been very focused about climbing the corporate ladder and had achieved much during their 15 or so years at work. However, they both said independently, that the decision to pack it all in without knowing where they would go next was amazingly easy. Considering both the individuals had always taken any decisions to date very seriously and analytically, I was amazed that they both were comfortable to ‘abandon ship’ and just see what happens.

To dramatically change their life and lifestyle at this stage takes considerable courage, and some of you may say that they are bonkers in doing so. Maybe so in some eyes! However, it does highlight that however important you may be in business, however deep your responsibilities are (which are likely to be considerable as a Leader), you DO have a choice in terms of your life. Yes – you really do, as these two have shown me at least!

Now, I am not encouraging all of you out there to abandon your careers, companies and even families just for the hell of it! However, there are some interesting things that are worth considering, as a result of their decisions.

What assumptions are you making?
Both friends said that they never really gave themselves the chance to stop and think about what they really wanted when caught up in corporate life. What was interesting was that they often thought that they did – when on holiday, or talking to their Coach or family. But in reality, this was always within the confines of certain given parameters; incidentally parameters that they had given themselves, sometimes unconsciously. Things like mortgage, children’s education, business dependency are the obvious ones that burst forth initially. Can you think what assumptions, or parameters that you have set yourself in business and at home? Are they real, relevant, or are they just there from habit? For example, Nick (one of the friends) always assumed that he ‘had’ to work to pay for his life, house, family etc. An obvious one I know! However, when he did sit down with pen, paper and a smart Accountant, he realised that he could manage a year of considerably smaller income without doing real damage to his pension, or lifestyle. The same goes for business – are there some assumptions that you are making about your competition, your costs, your revenues that actually could be challenged, without being detrimental to the business? Try to list all those assumptions you are making – you may be surprised at how extensive the list is, when you dig beyond the obvious ones.
Take Courage
The amazing Karren Brady says in her book ‘Playing to win’ that “Courage stems from confidence but stands alone as a tremendous asset”. She is so right. Courage is so often driven by a very strong goal or ambition, and easily taken away from us by our very own actions. Sometimes, it seems easier to hide behind some self-authored parameters that encourage us to say ‘Well I would love to do that, but I just can’t’. There is no such thing as ‘can’t’ when driven by your desire to do something – so look for that ambition that you really, really want. What is getting in the way? Is that your choice – really?
Look into the Future
When you are 80 and sitting in your chair, looking back over your life to date – what will you like to have said that you have achieved? Is it too late now to change your life to do it? Probably not! Every week, we all read amazing stories of octogenarians running Marathons, Pensioners setting up Charities in India, retired folk returning to business to set up a multi million pound Vodka business – so never think it is too late if you have the desire! So as not to be ‘age-ist’, you may think you are too young in some areas, but then consider the 18 year old American Girl who has just completed her final ascent up Everest, and is now the Youngest Human to have completed the Seven Summits – what next!
Do it for the right reasons
A word of caution. Being stuck on the M25 on a rainy, dark Friday night is probably not the most sensible time to consider changing your life! Going back to my two friends, they had both made the decision to change when things were going WELL for them. Doing so enables you to think through various options in a much more objective frame of mind. Again, from a business perspective, when you lose out to a competitor, it is probably not sensible to completely throw out your product or service that night, or sack the team for that matter. Look for when times are good to review where you are.

Lastly – if you are happy doing what you are doing – that is GREAT! Every now and then, it is worth giving yourself time to reflect on your choices in how you live life and do business. It may just help you realise how lucky you are – or is it luck, given the choices that you have made?!

Until next week…
Kate Tojeiro is an Executive Performance Coach at www.the-x-fusion.co.uk

Start with yourself............

‘Hello – is that me in there?’
Recently, I received a frantic call from a guy that had been a client for many years, Mark. “Look – I have read all the books that are on the shelf about being Creative and Entrepreneurial, and done all the things that it said – but see – I am still just ME’ My temptation was to ask “So what is the problem?”, but restrained myself, to listen further. Mark was so frustrated, based on the assumption that by reading several books, anyone can change – and it just was not happening for him. Well, was it really a problem?

As we all know, there is so much information out there in the world of communication and media, to encourage us to be something that we are not, nor will ever be. (This is probably because we don’t really want to be, but daren’t admit it!). Books that attempt to motivate us to be better business people, thinkers, entrepreneurs, even dressers; DVDs to make us into athletes, or Mr Universe. You could miss your plane by two hours just by looking at the possibilities in any airport shop! Just pick up the book/video etc. and away we go to change…. Or your money back?!

Well not quite! One of the key factors that is often forgotten in the furore of transforming ourselves and/or lives is the starting point. ‘Who am I to start with?’

If you are a woman, I am pretty sure that you can relate to the ‘Model’ look. You cram yourself into a new dress in Kate Moss’s new collection in Top Shop, and then feel desperate, as you just don’t look like anything like her, even though you have all her stuff on from top to toe! Let’s be honest, unless you happen to be size 6 (UK) already – you are never going to look like her – sorry! However, you can improve and enhance your natural look by buying some clothes that maybe make you more slim lined, with a long tunic etc., if that is what you are really hoping for. Now that will work!

That goes for the same message in business. If you are an introvert, you are not going to become extrovert by reading one book. However, that book can help you to discover what it is about extroverts that you admire, and what behaviours could you enhance of your own, to move towards that feeling? Now that is worthwhile!

As I did with Mark, my client, ask yourself a simple but critically important question,. Simply, ‘What makes me Me?’ For the answer, get some feedback from a variety of sources, not just your latest discussion in the board room. Personalities have been developing since birth, so even your school reports will unlock some interesting features. Feedback from colleagues, family, different friends. Get a feeling and picture of who you are and feel comfortable with that, as a starting point.

Then think about the specific attributes you admire from reading the articles, books etc. Which of those really resonate with you? When you read or watch, your body will let you know the important factors. You should feel something in your stomach or maybe neck, some form of internal light will go on. For example, when reading about Mountain climbers, it is their ability to focus, or to be patient to wait for the right moment to climb, or to be able to work on their own? Focus in on that one thing, and recognise that this is the key factor you are interested in.

Going back to Mark – his feedback had highlighted that he was excellent at making things happen, and working with others. Even at school, he was often Form Captain and headed up the Debate Society, recognising his ability to take actions forward. He had already realised that he was not a natural at coming up with ideas. Did he really want to do this? After a little soul searching, he admitted that it wasn’t that which inspired him. It was more about being courageous in taking ideas and making them happen. This is something that he really could see himself doing. So, his plan was to go and find people in the organisation that had some great ideas, listen more intently to them and work with them to make things happen. This REALLY fired him up and gave him the courage to change. However, this change was enhancing his skills and behaviours and not making him into something that he was not.

Please recognise that these books, dresses, DVDs are excellent at inspiring us and motivating us to make changes, which is a good thing! However, be realistic with your starting point. Don’t set yourself up to fail – set yourself up to be a winner, by working out who you really are on the starting blocks.


Until next week,

Kate Tojeiro is an Executive Performance Coach at www.the-x-fusion.co.uk

It’s child’s play!

Just how many times have we been embarrassed by our children, when they say something really inappropriate at the wrong time? It usually happens somewhere very public, like the Supermarket queue and you are caught unawares. For example, “Daddy – why is that woman wearing THAT red hat?” The entire supermarket queue then looks at you, the woman with the red hat and your child. Whilst you are desperately trying to think of a suitable answer, you can feel yourself going the colour to match the hat, and your tongue sticks to the roof of your mouth. Your ability to give a witty or sensible response has long since disappeared. The rest of the queue are of course giggling thinking “thank goodness that is not me!” Been there? Most of us have in some way, many times!

However, there is something fantastic about children’s ability to observe and comment on some wonderful things that we as adults, no longer see or experience, or no longer allow ourselves to do so. How much are we missing out, both in terms of fun, but more importantly, missing some critical information for running our businesses?

Let’s start with the fun bit! Please answer the following questions very honestly:
• When did you last giggle in the back of some meeting or forum?
• When did you allow yourself to dream about the most ridiculous things?
• When was the last time that you had a big public tantrum?
• Have you had an urge to give someone a sweet or hug just because you liked them?
• When did you let yourself abandon what you were doing, as you suddenly want to go and do something else, leaving the last thing strewn across the floor or desk?

So – how did you do on the ‘Child behaviour’ scale?
Umm – depressing isn’t it? Although this may seem a little trite, answering such questions made me realise just how serious and ‘correct’ a way of life we choose to live and work. Not for a moment am I suggesting that you have a tantrum in the next meeting, (unless you really want to!) but I am suggesting that it may be worth reviewing how much we take fun out of what we do – and that may not be necessary all the time. There is plenty of research that tell us that enjoying our work and having fun makes us much more effective – we have just forgotten how! We all work such long hours these days, why not enjoy your morning’s commute tomorrow thinking up ways to make your day more fun. What would you do if you were still 10? – that may help!

The other ‘child’ factor to think about is filtering. As we age, our brains very cleverly learn to filter information that no longer seems be necessary to acknowledge in our conscious brain. For example, it would be hard work to still have to think consciously about how to tie our shoelaces, get dressed, drive, spell etc., all of which we just do without thinking (well – unless it was a very late night?!). This frees up room in our head to do much more complicated thinking – such as run our business, answer emails, texts and play with our blackberry simultaneously. But have we filtered out too much in some circumstances? Are there some things that we no longer see or acknowledge?

I have a dear friend, who is a correspondent for a world wide media company. One of the things that I treasure about him, and probably makes him excel in his profession, is his ability to look at the world in an almost naive manner. His ability to ask questions which sound almost child-like, enable him to get to the bottom of many issues much more quickly than others. He has not hesitation in asking ‘So – why are you doing that?’ – when it would seem obvious why. Let me give you a small example. He was in my house, when I was answering some emails from clients a couple of weeks back. He came over and said that exact question “Why are you doing that?” – to which I must have looked slightly irritated and said “Well – they sent me an email and so I am responding and want to get back to them immediately”. He then said “But I thought your business was about building rapport – so why are you answering them on email?” He meant it completely innocently, and smiled and walked away. I then sat and thought for a moment – I had made a whole mass of assumptions that they would want me to reply on email, although it is so true that a phone call would be much better choice of medium. I duly picked up the phone and had a much more fruitful and rewarding conversation with my client, which we both acknowledged.

How much of our daily behaviour is driven subconsciously, and enable us to miss out on some really obvious opportunities?

So – Can I recommend you take five minutes out of your day, and think:
• How many of my repeated actions I could do differently?
• When was the last time I stopped and asked myself ‘Why do I do things this way?’
• What assumptions am I making about my meetings today?
• How do I know that they are real assumptions?
• What ‘rules’ do we have in the organisation, that are there for history sake rather than logic?
• Who is the newest member of the team? Have I asked them for their observations of how we do business?
• If I had a ten year old in my office, what would they notice?

So enjoy looking for the obvious, pretending to be young and naïve again – you may get some surprising results!

Until next week!

Kate Tojeiro is and Executive Performance Coach at www.the-x-fusion.co.uk

Letting go -

Some-one said to me recently; it’s not about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well you bounce! Like that..
Last week for one reason or another was all about ‘letting go’, whether it’s letting a company go, a responsibility or accountability, a job, perhaps even a friend - it’s not easy!
One of my clients is the MD/ CEO of a successful packaging company and is contemplating selling it, last week he received a £150million valuation for his family-owned business. Instead of being overjoyed, my client, in his late forties, has been “really struggling and hesitating to just make the decision’’ While his father and various family members who co-own the business are fully onboard the with idea of selling, this man, whose children are still young, told me “I don’t want my children to grow up seeing me not going to work.”

“What a nice problem to have, I pondered, however this really gets at the heart of some difficult, serious issues.” A would-be seller inevitably bumps into big, hairy questions like, “Who am I without my business? Am I too young? What do I want to do with my life?’’. I have observed recently owners and shareholders wrestle with succession planning and have come to an almost heretical conclusion: I wonder if with business transitions, the social and emotional issues are the whole story and the finances almost a footnote?

The early bird…
Like a jolly good book, selling one’s business is often rife with tension and drama. The process can pit the interests of the business directly against the person who gave it life and breath, as it were. This is because human beings and companies rarely mature at the same speed. After the startup phase, eventually either the opportunities for the business mature, or the ownership matures and this certainly creates an interesting conflict.

The process is even trickier when a management team that has not yet reached maturity sees all sorts of opportunities to exploit and comes up against an owner who’s ready to retire. The activities that go with planning an exit—liquifying holdings, taking out capital, selling—are completely opposed to reinvesting capital to build on growth opportunities.

So how does a focused, pragmatic business owner navigate this charged minefield?
Start early, the thought process can take years and therefore I believe that it’s almost never too soon to begin thinking about possible exit strategies. Now, whilst this decision is largely personal, outside forces also come into play. From a financial perspective, the best time to sell is when business momentum is moving up. However, considering the right time is affected by the availability of capital, industry consolidation, and the overall health of the economy—all of which will have a bearing on your company’s valuation.
As I have observed first hand this last week, there would appear to be nearly as many methods for valuation as there are companies themselves. Though every deal is different, one thing is certain, the best way to arrive at an informed valuation is to prepare and get as many reference points as you can. Comparable business valuations can offer a very good starting point, as well as external advice from lawyers, accountants, bankers, brokers, friends and associates who have been through the experience before. Ensuring that you have the best financial reporting that you could possibly have in place is essential. People have got to know what they’re buying, which leads to some other questions; What creates value in your business? You may think your business is valuable, but is it valuable to anyone else? Is there management depth sufficient to run this company?

Value of course, can also be in the eye of the beholder, so the kind of exit strategy you choose will also influence a business’s worth. Privately-held companies in general have at least four choices: sell to a competitor or a financial buyer; sell to management; sell to the owner’s family; or recapitalization. Each of these options comes with its own special set of issues/ challenges! Would-be sellers to their children, for example, should remember that business acumen is not necessarily genetic, and that if you’re counting on your children to pay for your retirement, you may be in for a few ‘hairy’ Christmas dinners – or not! Have an honest, open discussion with them and find out if they’re equipped and even interested in taking over the business?
If you’re selling to management, one of my associates recalled the following tale which seemed to work well. This particular owner “test drove” his management team by taking an entire summer off to go sailing in the Med! When the team performed well, he set up a structure where they gradually bought him out over time. As it is oft said - management teams are like tea-bags - you never know how strong they are until you put them in hot water.
In all of these situations you will have to delegate and share some of the decision-making with your colleagues, so;
X Identify the resistance. Developing an awareness of why you are resistant to delegate is key. Are you just not used to delegating? Are you afraid of giving up control? Are you afraid that no one can carry out the task as well as you? Are you afraid that if you delegate the work, then you will not get the recognition and your job security might be threatened? Write down your fears.
X Notice the impact. Once you have identified the cause of your resistance, consider the impact that not delegating authority is having on you and others. This might include an increase in your workload and stress level, a decrease in your job satisfaction, and a negative impact on your relationships, both at work and personally.
X Consider the benefits of delegating authority. It could mean more freedom and time for yourself, less stress, improved work and personal relationships and the ability to focus on big-picture and higher priority issues.
X Make a commitment. Tell your boss and your colleagues (or your coach) that you are committing yourself to start delegating more tasks and authority. Write it down and post it somewhere. Ask trusted colleagues to remind you if you start to wander off from your commitment (this also means not biting their heads off – if they do!).
X Begin the process. Start with delegating tasks that will not give you heart palpitations, then work your way up to larger tasks as you become more comfortable with the process. Keep an open mind. Once you have mastered or feel more comfortable with delegating tasks on an individual basis, consider doing this for projects. Ask your colleagues what more they can do. You will be surprised what they will be willing to take on for you.
X Follow-up and celebrate the successes. When delegating make sure that you set a time to follow up with colleagues to see how they are progressing with a given task. Remember to encourage, acknowledge and champion them. Let them know that you have full confidence that they can do it. Praise them when they complete the task. Even more important is to see what the impact of delegating has on you. Write down all the positive aspects of delegating you have noticed. Ask your colleagues about how they have found the process and how they think you are doing.
Remember: the more you delegate the easier it becomes. It is like developing a new habit – in fact it is!
Letting go can be a great and liberating experience, I know that from ‘letting go’ my first company. Whether you are letting go of a business or a friend –or in my case last week a big hairy horse, there is always a time for departure even when there is no certain place to go… so, all the best!
Until next week…
Kate Tojeiro is an Executive Performance Coach at www.the-x-fusion.co.uk

‘Is there a Gorilla on your table?’

That might sound a strange way to start an article on improving your performance, I admit! However, I have lost count as to how many Gorillas I have encountered on board tables. Let me explain, if I may.

As successful organisations, you have essentially got into a way that works for you. You and the other members of the executive have written and unwritten rules of working together – some probably work better than others. However, during the months of setting these up, there were one or two really, really difficult areas that none of you knew how to resolve. Or worse – between you, you may have decided that in fact they were too hard to resolve, so you learn to work around them. After a while, you have all become so expert at working around the issue that you no longer notice that it is there! For someone new coming into your environment, they may appear huge, as big as a Gorilla, and are amazed at how you just no longer notice it – but this really does happen in most companies somewhere. Now it is commendable to say the least, to be able to work around such a large ‘issue’, but my question to you is ‘How much more would you all be able to achieve if the Gorilla was removed?’

As an extreme example, I have spent some time living and working in Central America, where many Companies have ‘Gorillas’, which are usually in the shape of a distant family member of the owner (not literally you understand!). They are often totally inappropriately positioned in the company, but it is deemed too politically sensitive to even mention this to the owner, so the Board learn to work with (or more often, around) the individual. However, it is not effective for either the individual nor the company in the long run. This type of issue is seemed to be too difficult to resolve, but can be with diplomacy, thought and discretion, for the good of all in the longer term.

So – ask yourself the questions
• If I brought in an ‘Outsider’ into our board meetings, such as a new member of the team, or a Graduate on work experience, what Gorilla would they spot?
• Is the ‘Gorilla’ a person, a rule, or a process perhaps?
• If it was not there, what would we be able to achieve?
• How does this weigh up with the process of removing it?

For many of us, the short term hassle of resolving it may put us off. However, just listen to your subconscious thinking when asking the questions. It will soon let you know if you are putting off the inevitable and actually reducing your chances of succeeding in the long run.

Don’t forget that the Gorilla may also be very obvious to the rest of the organisation, and are confused as to why it has not been removed. They many not understand the nuances of the political balance of keeping the person, or the process in place – but does that matter? They may have a point, and just think of what positive impact you will have on their morale too, if the Gorilla issue is resolved.

For many years, I worked in a large retail organisation, which had its headquarters in a typical 70’s style office block. The time came to give it a ‘revamp’ and I was on the project for designing and implementing. When asking the office staff for their ideas for change, by far the greatest feedback was for more informal break-out and meeting space. Now, there was a huge atrium in this building, which has remained empty since we moved in. We all walked through it everyday and had got completely used to the cathedral style entrance. It suddenly dawned on us that the Atrium would be a fantastic place for informal meetings etc., by putting in a variety of sofas, chairs and tables etc. However, on asking the Safety Officer his views, he immediate answer was; “Can’t do that – we asked the Fire Department years ago and they said it was a fire risk”. So years, literally, had gone by with this empty space that we had got used to. I cheekily asked “Have we asked them recently?” .. well no we hadn’t – not for fifteen years! Sure enough, the Fire department were duly invited up and asked the question “How could we make this space usable?”. Within 2 hours, we had some fantastic ideas, combined with extra fire doors etc., that could completely transform the atrium, with no increase in safety risk. Once implemented, the transformation of the entire atmosphere of the building was phenomenal – and all because we challenged one Gorilla.

So why not go ‘Office Gorilla Hunting’ today and see what transformations you can make!

Until next week!

Kate Tojeiro is an Executive Performance Coach at www.the-x-fusion.co.uk

HAVE YOU EXERCISED YOUR INTUITION?

The World Bank President did not have a good week last week. He was quoted as saying “In hindsight, I wish I had trusted my original instincts.” Now – just how many times have we said the same to ourselves?

Our instinct, gut feel, intuition; (call it what you will), is a phenomenal gift given to us all when born, but as we grow up, we increasingly question its use, particularly in business. Partly through education and our obsession with measuring everything, intuition is often not referred to as a useful business tool, but a risk. However, when you read books and articles on, or written by successful Entrepreneurs and business tycoons, there is a continual reference to their use of intuition as part of their success.

Let me give you an example. Can you remember the last time that you bought a house? I have recently been working with a colleague who has just done that and the conversation went along the lines of “ Well – we spent ages writing down our top 10 ‘Must-haves’ for the house. You know, 4 bedrooms, adequate garage space etc.. We shared this with the Estate Agent and asked her to ensure that these were taken into consideration with every house we see.” Weekend before last, I bumped into her and she was so elated. “We have found the most fabulous house – it just feels so right for us – we decided that we could probably live there for ever”. After hearing about the style, I did ask if it ticked all 10 ‘Must-Haves’. “Oh no – about 4 actually, but we will manage, as we just love it!” Now, they may well have bought a house with all 10 buttons ticked, but would have ‘felt’ right, and therefore would they have been happy and satisfied in it? The same can be said about decisions at work, of course.

Just think back through last week, in particular decisions made and meetings attended:
X How many decisions did you make that just ‘felt right’ and took little deep thought?
X Are there any decisions that you made logically, but keep coming back into your mind?
X How often do you allow yourself to use ‘change your mind’ based on a feeling?

It is a difficult one as intuition is, by its nature, difficult to measure and also difficult to explain and articulate to others. If you are spending a significant amount of money on behalf of other Partners, by just saying “it just feels right” is probably not going to tick their box!

However, allowing ourselves to at least be aware of our gut feel may make all the difference to our decisions. Neurologically, we still have much to learn, but we are beginning to understand why intuition is more than just a whim or risk. Intuition is something that comes from within, from our subconscious mind. What our subconscious mind does is spot congruences and ‘mis-matches’ in communication and thinking that our conscious mind does not. For example, a Supplier may be saying something about their product to you, but your subconscious is busy matching what is being said to the non-verbal communication. If there is a mis-match, (for example, eye direction and movement, gestures, posture etc) it will pick it up and you will get that ‘gut-feel’ even though you don’t know why. Alternatively, in buying the house, my colleague will have had tremendous congruence between their emotional feelings about living in a dream house and the house that they were experiencing, which is why it ‘just felt right’.

So, as a Leader in your organisation, how much lee way do you give to allowing ‘gut-feel’ to play a part in your decisions, and events? There is clearly a balance so that your decisions are based on sound judgement and reason. However, checking the extra ‘gut-feel ’button just may make the difference between a right decision and a phenomenal one!

As a start, you can easily practise becoming more aware of the link between your thoughts and your own body (which creates that gut feel) by trying these simple exercises:

X Watching your football/rugby/sports team at the weekend. Think about the physical effects on your body every time there is a score. What hurts, what feels good?

X Getting up on Monday morning – how do you feel in your head, and how is the body in comparison?

X Holding a meeting with colleagues you respect – how is your posture, your gestures, your energy levels?

All of these will give you great insight to how your body responds to events and decisions going on in your business. Enjoy using it to your advantage!

Until next week


Kate Tojeiro is an Executive Performance Coach at www.the-x-fusion.co.uk

‘Live in the present!’

How often have you been sitting in a meeting and not really being there? How often have you been playing with the kids and not really giving them your attention? How often have you been ‘listening’ to your partner but missing most of the conversation? It is not good to be on the receiving end of this ‘missing person’ is it? However, our busy minds tend to encourage us to often attend an event, without taking our full brain with us.

Much research has been undertaken in recent years, particularly by eminent people such as Daniel Goleman, which has helped us to understand the ‘busy mind’ phenomenon and the impact that it has on us, others and the organisation. Bottom line? – it is not good! However, the good news is that we can train the busy minds to be calm and to work more effectively!

In a nutshell, an overactive, busy mind creates much internal noise and clutter. This then interferes with our thought processing, our hearing, creativity and our intuition. The result is not being able to make decisions effectively and rationally, which can result in poor performance. Now you probably knew that already if you thought about it. The research has now provided us with the evidence that ‘Busy Mind syndrome’ really is critical in preventing our greatest performance.

So – how do you create a calm and effective mind that will let you live ‘in the present’? Here are some tried and trusted suggestions.

Find a place to put your busy thoughts
Now knowing that a busy mind is not always effective, you owe it to yourself to find times to create a calm and quiet brain. Being a successful leader will inevitably mean that you have a million things going on at one time – or at least it may feel like that. We are not suggesting that you forget all these things when you step into a one-to-one with someone, for example. However, you could put these ‘things’ somewhere safe, for you to pick up after the meeting, and try to be completely present at that meeting.

One colleague I work with has a virtual filing cabinet in his mind, and imagines putting all his things in there, locking it for safety, before he attends a meeting. He then focuses completely on the meeting, knowing that he can open up the cabinet the moment the meeting finishes. His dedication to the meetings produces much greater results, and his team have complemented him on this new style, stating how much more valued they feel.

Sue Knight (an excellent writer on successful work practices), talks about one client who had a ‘worry tree’. Before he entered the house at night, he would hang up all his work worries in the big tree in his front garden, before seeing his family. He could then focus on just them and the enjoyment of home. What was interesting is that in the mornings, as he goes to pick up the worries on his way to work, they are often much less than the night before!

See if you can find someway to park your thoughts, concerns and worries before embarking in an important event with others.

Use your perspective
When you are in an anxious state of mind, why does everything else seems to get worse? You start looking for the awful things going on, and your sub-conscious mind fills your brain with messages such as “ Wow, I am too busy; I am too stressed” etc, creating more unnecessary noise in your head. Have you got a quick way to get your perspective back, and see that life really is quite good? Maybe this is a photo of your partner, or family or favourite pet, a wonderful piece of music, a ‘happy’ memory. Practice finding some quick way to reframe your thinking and perspective in life – which will inevitably calm your brain and enable you to think more effectively.

Assume innocence in others
Some idiot has just pushed in front of you and made you miss the lights, on your drive home – and you are now seething and can think of nothing else! When you get home, how many of us have blurted out the inadequacies of the rest of the drivers on the road and vented your anger on an innocent family who have been longing to see you? That thought process is stopping us take in anything pleasant around us, filling your mind with unhelpful emotions, let alone affecting our blood pressure and health! So – ask yourself “does it really matter? Maybe they did not see me, maybe they have a sick partner at home; there maybe many reasons that they did what they did”. You will never know what was reality; you are just ASSUMING that they are evil and pushy! It will make absolutely no difference to them what you think, so why not let it go, assume innocence and enjoy your evening instead. This one takes practise but worth it in the end!

Practise, practise, practise – all these tactics require practising many times before they become automatic. Have fun experimenting with ways to enable you to live ‘in the present’ at times, creating a calm brain. Enjoy the results!


Until next week,

Kate Tojeiro is an Executive Performance Coach at www.the-x-fusion.co.uk