‘Live in the present!’

How often have you been sitting in a meeting and not really being there? How often have you been playing with the kids and not really giving them your attention? How often have you been ‘listening’ to your partner but missing most of the conversation? It is not good to be on the receiving end of this ‘missing person’ is it? However, our busy minds tend to encourage us to often attend an event, without taking our full brain with us.

Much research has been undertaken in recent years, particularly by eminent people such as Daniel Goleman, which has helped us to understand the ‘busy mind’ phenomenon and the impact that it has on us, others and the organisation. Bottom line? – it is not good! However, the good news is that we can train the busy minds to be calm and to work more effectively!

In a nutshell, an overactive, busy mind creates much internal noise and clutter. This then interferes with our thought processing, our hearing, creativity and our intuition. The result is not being able to make decisions effectively and rationally, which can result in poor performance. Now you probably knew that already if you thought about it. The research has now provided us with the evidence that ‘Busy Mind syndrome’ really is critical in preventing our greatest performance.

So – how do you create a calm and effective mind that will let you live ‘in the present’? Here are some tried and trusted suggestions.

Find a place to put your busy thoughts
Now knowing that a busy mind is not always effective, you owe it to yourself to find times to create a calm and quiet brain. Being a successful leader will inevitably mean that you have a million things going on at one time – or at least it may feel like that. We are not suggesting that you forget all these things when you step into a one-to-one with someone, for example. However, you could put these ‘things’ somewhere safe, for you to pick up after the meeting, and try to be completely present at that meeting.

One colleague I work with has a virtual filing cabinet in his mind, and imagines putting all his things in there, locking it for safety, before he attends a meeting. He then focuses completely on the meeting, knowing that he can open up the cabinet the moment the meeting finishes. His dedication to the meetings produces much greater results, and his team have complemented him on this new style, stating how much more valued they feel.

Sue Knight (an excellent writer on successful work practices), talks about one client who had a ‘worry tree’. Before he entered the house at night, he would hang up all his work worries in the big tree in his front garden, before seeing his family. He could then focus on just them and the enjoyment of home. What was interesting is that in the mornings, as he goes to pick up the worries on his way to work, they are often much less than the night before!

See if you can find someway to park your thoughts, concerns and worries before embarking in an important event with others.

Use your perspective
When you are in an anxious state of mind, why does everything else seems to get worse? You start looking for the awful things going on, and your sub-conscious mind fills your brain with messages such as “ Wow, I am too busy; I am too stressed” etc, creating more unnecessary noise in your head. Have you got a quick way to get your perspective back, and see that life really is quite good? Maybe this is a photo of your partner, or family or favourite pet, a wonderful piece of music, a ‘happy’ memory. Practice finding some quick way to reframe your thinking and perspective in life – which will inevitably calm your brain and enable you to think more effectively.

Assume innocence in others
Some idiot has just pushed in front of you and made you miss the lights, on your drive home – and you are now seething and can think of nothing else! When you get home, how many of us have blurted out the inadequacies of the rest of the drivers on the road and vented your anger on an innocent family who have been longing to see you? That thought process is stopping us take in anything pleasant around us, filling your mind with unhelpful emotions, let alone affecting our blood pressure and health! So – ask yourself “does it really matter? Maybe they did not see me, maybe they have a sick partner at home; there maybe many reasons that they did what they did”. You will never know what was reality; you are just ASSUMING that they are evil and pushy! It will make absolutely no difference to them what you think, so why not let it go, assume innocence and enjoy your evening instead. This one takes practise but worth it in the end!

Practise, practise, practise – all these tactics require practising many times before they become automatic. Have fun experimenting with ways to enable you to live ‘in the present’ at times, creating a calm brain. Enjoy the results!


Until next week,

Kate Tojeiro is an Executive Performance Coach at www.the-x-fusion.co.uk